I almost posted a post yesterday, I typed it all up. Can’t remember what it was now. I did everything except hit the ‘publish’ button. I remember thinking “this is stupid” and navigating away from the page, post lost to the internet oblivion. Most days I disgust myself, at least for a few seconds. Part of me is this smartass little kid that I can’t stand. I remember when I was actually a little kid, being aware that part of me is this smartass little kid that I didn’t like and had difficulty controlling. Everyday this smartass little kid irritates my wife and I. Only she doesn’t know about the smartass little kid, she thinks it’s me.In 1973, when I got drunk for the first time, and shortly thereafter, when I started taking drugs, the smartass little kid disappeared. I felt normal when I was drinking and taking drugs, even when I wasn’t high. Now, I quit drinking and drugs over 20 years ago, and the smartass is back. I’m pretty sure its a mental defect. I’m probably what you call a functioning lunatic.
Last night I was dreaming I was weaving chocolate and gold. I was trying to make the gold go in a perfect spiral in the chocolate but mine weren’t turning out as well as the store bought ones. I was thinking to myself, “I really don’t need money since I have all this gold” In my dream I was also converting ounces to grams and vice versa.
Also last night we finally had rain, probably a half hour of good hard rain. I think it was just what we needed here.