The other weekend, like a freak, I was out standing in this tree I’m trying to heal. (The Otaheite Apple Tree, you’ve heard me talk about it). I’m standing in the tree, talking to it and looking for new growth like I do almost every day. My neighbor and his wife were outside too, although we couldn’t actually see each other.
All of a sudden I heard my wife’s voice call “Babe”. I stepped out of the tree. I looked around. That was my name. I heard it, where did my name come from? I remember every detail, the quality of the light, the texture of the side of the house, the too long grass and the weeds. I want to find my wife who called my name. I was walking, looking.
It must’ve taken me a full 60 seconds to figure out what was going on. In those 60 seconds I was either not human at all or fully human for he first time ever. There were no thinking words in my brain, no tangible thought. Time stopped. My name, I heard my name. I was on my way to provide anything the sayer of my name wanted.
After that long minute, it all started coming back to me. Wife’s long gone. Divorce final. It wasn’t my wife. It was the neighbors wife. Even when my wife was still here, my neighbors wife calling Babe sounded the same as my wife.
It wasn’t for me.
But the fact is, I heard my name. I heard my name for the first time in over a year. My name is Babe, and I miss hearing my name. I miss it real bad.