Irresponsible

I’m behind on a ton of little stuff. I want to apply for my British passport, I have tons of little projects around the house that I have been neglecting. Call the plumber. Get my watch fixed. My scooter registration is expired. Do I buy a new carb for my generator or take it to the shop or both, or just do nothing and “think about it”?

Ad infinitum.

A few days ago I was supposed to return somebody’s phone call and I didn’t. They said something and that is what tripped this guilt trip/rant. If somebody is supposed to call me and they don’t I am hurt much worse than the average human being. So for me to do it is preposterous. At work, I pride myself on completing every task by the deadline, but sometimes I procrastinate and wait to the last minute, Sometimes I think I did a really good job on something and it gets rejected or has faults pointed out.

I go through periods where I feel like I have a thousand tiny tasks to do, and cannot get any of them done. Nothing is ever good enough and I keep trying to achieve perfection, which is impossible and I am dissatisfied with the finished project.

Sometimes I’m just trying to make it through the day.

Blah.

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