Hard to believe it’s October already. When I was a kid, it seemed like the first half of the year went faster than the second, now it all goes fast. I remember when I turned 40, I thought “This is about half way through my life.” Let me tell you, the second half is going a lot faster than the first. Turning 40 seem like about 5 minutes ago.
I guess most of the people who read this know I don’t drink, a big part of my not drinking is daily prayer. I pray for help staying sober, and freedom from anger, depression and self-pity, among other things. I really don’t hear much back from God, I haven’t drank for almost 25 years, so that’s good, but this morning I got angry about 2 seconds after my prayer. As soon as I get up, the cat starts meowing. She’s staying in this giant kennel at night and when we’re gone, till she gets used to the place. We don’t want her running away. So, as agreed, I put the cat in the bedroom, with my wife, and close the door, as discussed. Well, my wife gets up, and closes the door better because the cat got out. She said “the cat got out”. No harm no malice, but it took it to mean “You didn’t do a good enough job putting the cat in the bedroom.” So I prayed again: “Ya know God, a little feedback would be nice. I got angry two seconds after I prayed for freedom of anger. A normal person would quit praying. I pray every day and don’t hear anything back. Maybe you have some divine way of operating or sending me a message, but if you send messages I can’t understand, what good is it? I gave up swimming after work because I need to come home and take care of the animals,I gave up studying in the mornings because I need to take care of animals. Do I need to give up my morning exercises too, to take care of animals more? WTF?”
My poor old Ditto is gone, maybe I can start swimming after work again.
That’s how I’m doing this morning.