Pickleball lesson #1 was really fun. I had never seen a ball or paddle before. The ball is like a whiffleball and the paddle is best described as an oversized ping pong paddle. It was fun and easy and I’m looking forward to the next lesson and can see myself playing regularly.
After the lesson, we went to a new place Taco Cantina. It was very good..
The Cayman Islands needed a place like this.
Tonight the Cayman Islands Roundup starts, 14th annual. I’ll be there at noon today setting up my sound and recording equipment for a full weekend of AA Speakers and workshops and events.
Well, its back to work this morning. I’m looking forward to getting back to the routine
Yesterday was my 32nd birthday. I entered the program when I was 30, 32 years ago.
Surprising this morning, rain. It was wet when I went out for my morning exercise, but cloudlessly clear when I walked the dogs. Just now a 30 second, heavy rain shower passed by. Surprising. It’s good!
If you’re back to work for the first time this year, good luck Enjoy. Attitude is everything. It’s going to be a good day!
I woke up last night at the usual time, middle of the night. I felt the panic attempt to grab me but I evaded it. I can’t really describe what happened. I could feel it rising and I don’t want to say I pushed it back down but it advanced then inexplicably retreated. Normally I am unsuccessful at any attempts to control my “night madness” and I was pleased and relieved to have a hiatus. However, my assignment was to examine the panic and determine what it is that grasps me in the middle of the night every night. I know what it is in a way, fear and aloneness. But that is too vague. I must identify (and alleviate?) the roots.
This morning, thinking about it, I remembed ‘the protector’. My other assignment, which I had forgotten, was to identify and observe “the protector”. (I had asked if I was possibly schizophrenic when the protector was described to me) When things that I want to look at run away to avoid being examined, that is “my protector” protecting me. It thinks it’s protecting me from things it thinks are too painful for me to look at. This morning I tried to examine the fear and the protector hid it from me. I admit at the time that I was pleased the fear went away but this morning I realized that that was not the objective. It was not doing me any favors. We’ll see what happens tomorrow.. I’m ready to enter the haunted house.
In the meantime, I am in a great mood today, for which I am thankful, and, it’s my Friday! (Remember, Thursdays and Fridays off, rest of the year!)
This morning I picked my biggest pepper ever off my mutant plant. This is the plant seeded from the bell pepper seeds but the peppers are all shaped like the picture. They taste like bell peppers though. The other plant makes bell pepper shaped bell peppers.
Went to have a dental cleaning yesterday. She had her forearm on my chest and my head was touching her side. It occurred to me that “this is the first time I’ve felt anybody else’s body heat in probably two years. I think that’s why greeting hugs from friends don’t count as human contact.
Anyway, it was interesting.
Yesterday, it was raining and I took a lunchtime nap in my van. I think I slept really deep and hard. Tess good.
Last night I dreamed I was on the beach and the ex wife came walking by. She was wearing a modest black one piece Nike swimsuit and had a dog on a leash in her right hand and a yellow kitten in the crook of her left arm. I didn’t see the dog I was alone on the beach but scrambled to get away from the person sitting next to me as I stood up so she wouldn’t think we were together. The ex wife was smiling and looked happy and healthy. It was a pleasant dream and good to see her.
Today is a Wednesday, the weather is looking good. (West Bay (center of the universe) DID end up getting some good rain yesterday after all, if you read yesterdays post.) I expect today will be a snorkeling lunch hour.
Last evening I went to a private meditation session with my teacher from the meditation workshop I took a month and a half ago. The teacher learned in an hour what it took a year of counseling to reveal.
It was very interesting and beneficial and painful. I had a hard time sitting cross legged for an hour and a half!
The weeks crawl but the months fly. Have a wonderful day! The weekend is almost here!
Happy Hump Day! Yesterday afternoon I planted most of the seeds I bought and I’m on my way to vegetable-kingdom. I need to buy more seeds already.
Tonight is the second class of the meditation workshop. I’m looking forward to it. I’ve been practicing every day as per directions. There’s a place I call “There” that’s a really nice place to be. I can get there most times but not always. It’s important to dedicate the time allotted for meditation. I tried to squeeze in 8 minutes when I had to be somewhere and had laundry going and it didn’t work too well.
I have been trying meditation as ever since I quit drinking, even before that, I was introduced but it was nothing like this.
Yesterday I took these pictures using macro mode on my phone camera. I think it works surprisingly well, I think these are borderline quality because the camera wasn’t close enough.
Last night I started a 4 week meditation workshop. It was interesting. Lots of talk about bran parts and nerves and scientifically how it works. Among other things, I discovered that I can’t sit cross legged as long as I need to. It should prove to be a very beneficial class, if I apply what I learn. Meditation has been, I think, a weak point in my recovery program.