Today is our last day off for the Queens Jubilee. Looking forward to her 80th
It doesn’t seem like it was a long 4 day weekend.
It’s not cloudy now, and the wind isn’t howling , but it was all weekend. My friends who tried to go diving couldn’t, seas were too rough.
I did some yard work, I am making anti chicken covers for the planters out front . Just a screen lid really. Pictures of them coming later. Below is a picture of the plants in my house that I took this morning. There’s more in the picture than it looks like, and there’s more not in the picture. Lots more. I keep splitting them up so I can sell them, but I never see them
I have a very fixed, unvarying daily routine. I need to break up this routine. The way it is now, I go day after day after day and nothing changes. The days are identical. The routine doesn’t allow me to meet new people. Sometimes on weekends, I can go without contact with anyone at all.
Some parts of the routine are inflexible, like work and caring for the dogs, cats, plants and house. But I am trying to identify and alter the parts that are variable. That’s why I went to the yoga class the other day, and again last night. There’s people there!
That is.my mission, break the routine. I also notice that if I’m alone, I either feel like I should be doing something and am wasting time (my life) or I’m depressed feeling. The inside of my head alone is often not a pleasant to be.
Im all sad my visitors are gone. It’s back to work today. Below is a picture I took this morning on the dog walk. It looks how I feel.
I will be Okay once I get back to work and get going. Yesterday I cut the drywall and installed the box in the wall for my new internet ADSL line jack. Today I will probably run the cable. If it is not raining. It rained almost all day yesterday.
Below is part of a document I’m working on, something I’m investigating.
The lizard brain (amygdala) is located where the spine enters the brain. Its function is to take over the body and actions to ensure survival in times of danger. It operates the body in any way it deems necessary to survive. Near the front of our brain is the rational brain. It is our personality, who we are. Our social skills. Our experiences and memories and the things we learn in life. The rational brain runs the show when times are good, and communicates constantly with the lizard brain which learns things that might come in handy for survival.
The lizard brain learns from our rational brain, only in times without trauma. For example, when you learn to scuba dive, the lizard brain learns about scuba diving and how to stay alive in an emergency. I don’t think lizard brain learns from the scuba books we read, it learns from what experiences we have while diving. For example, a new diver may tend to panic and bolt for the surface if a problem is perceived underwater, but an experienced diver would not, because the lizard brain has learned from the rational brain during previous dives.
It seems as if there is a “trauma light” in the brain, when the trauma light comes on. The lizard brain takes over, the rational brain is cut off, and does not influence what we do or how we act. The light is on or off, there is no in between.
Trauma is trauma. If the trauma light is on, the lizard brain is running the body. If the trauma light is on, the lizard brain cannot learn new things, because it is disconnected from the rational brain. It cannot remember new names, cannot remember new details in a conversation. No new information is processed. When the trauma light is on, the lizard brain will do what it did last time, because it knows that it will survive taking this particular action. The lizard brain is modifiable only when the trauma light is NOT on.
There is no strong trauma or weak trauma. As far as the body is concerned, the trauma a combat veteran may feel hearing fireworks is no more or less than the trauma of a little kid who is afraid of clowns.
That’s probably the first quarter of the paper I’m working on. For what? I don’t know… I need to break up my routine. My counselor thinks I operate solely on my lizard brain almost all the time. In nearly constant fight or flight mode.
I got a new vacuum cleaner yesterday, it’s fantastic. It’s a shop vac that has more power, all the attachments and costs just over half what an inferior house model would cost. I’m very pleased with the purchase.
Above is a photo I took this morning for the full moon setting. I took it with my phone. I know it’s not very good but I think it’s cool and the moon was beautiful.Today I have a follow-up check up about blood pressure.
And i ruined my breakfast. I poured a bowl of cereal and then when I poured the milk on, it was curdled it was good day before yesterday. I’m disappointed/angry.
Plus i don’t know if I mentioned it , but last Thursday my home internet quit and it’s still not fixed. I’m posting this using the cellular data plan. Crabby.
I meant to post at 200, but now it’s 210 days in a row I have been studying with Duolingo. I almost lost my streak once but found a way to earn Stars. (Once you run out of stars, they try to make you pay.) But by “practicing” lessons, you can earn Stars. Then you can complete a task in order to continue the streak.
My mother and sister fly out tomorrow. At first it seemed like 2 weeks was too long, but now it seems like 2 weeks is too short.
it’s another Monday, ugh. I slept ok, feel pretty good. I got a negative covid self-test this morning.(twice a week for work) and the weather is looking good for the next couple of days.
It was a nice weekend. Dinner with the dinner club Friday night, Saturday I pressure washed a piece of wall in anticipation of a future painting, mowed the yard. Saturday night went out and saw a really good band, (and I am not easily impressed by bar bands) Saturday night I felt great, I had a really good time.
Sunday, I took the dogs to the beach and tried to go diving. The staff were pulling the ladders when I arrived and it was quite rough.
But at times this weekend, I felt like I was wasting time. I felt like a robot, doing my activities as programed. I felt a need to go go go and never stop moving, never stop doing things. I felt like any rest or idle time was a waste.
But it’s Monday. I will be busy at work. All will be well.
I have a flat tire on my van, and I have to fix it before I go to work. So I’m running late before I even start the morning. It’s still pitch black outside, so I might as well have my coffee and post my post. As you may have guessed, post posting is top priority. Even when I fund it difficult to produce a post to post..
I’m ready to move into next year. Never before have I wanted things to change more. And for me to change.
I hope you have a wonderful day!
There was a good hard rain this morning. Was badly needed.