For most of my life, I’ve considered myself an insomniac. I’ve had a couple years of good sleeping, but I worry that those years are over.
I get home from work, exhausted, I stay awake till I’m not tired anymore, then it’s bedtime. I go to bed and can’t sleep. I get up, walk around the house. Lay down again. Sometimes I look at the clock and notice some time has unexpectedly gone by, 45 minutes or an hour. Apparently, I was asleep for a few minutes, although not that I’m aware of. Then I’m awake, and repeat the cycle.
There’s no joy of sleeping, no comfort, no awareness of being asleep. I just go bed and restlessly spend the time till the alarm.
Blame the melatonin, throw it away, it’s a bad batch, buy new. Blame the pillow, blame the tempurature, blame the snoring dog, but it’s none of that.
I’m just an insomniac.