The other weekend, like a freak, I was out standing in this tree I’m trying to heal. (The Otaheite Apple Tree, you’ve heard me talk about it). I’m standing in the tree, talking to it and looking for new growth like I do almost every day. My neighbor and his wife were outside too, although we couldn’t actually see each other.
All of a sudden I heard my wife’s voice call “Babe”. I stepped out of the tree. I looked around. That was my name. I heard it, where did my name come from? I remember every detail, the quality of the light, the texture of the side of the house, the too long grass and the weeds. I want to find my wife who called my name. I was walking, looking.
It must’ve taken me a full 60 seconds to figure out what was going on. In those 60 seconds I was either not human at all or fully human for he first time ever. There were no thinking words in my brain, no tangible thought. Time stopped. My name, I heard my name. I was on my way to provide anything the sayer of my name wanted.
After that long minute, it all started coming back to me. Wife’s long gone. Divorce final. It wasn’t my wife. It was the neighbors wife. Even when my wife was still here, my neighbors wife calling Babe sounded the same as my wife.
It wasn’t for me.
But the fact is, I heard my name. I heard my name for the first time in over a year. My name is Babe, and I miss hearing my name. I miss it real bad.
Happy Hump Day! Yesterday afternoon I planted most of the seeds I bought and I’m on my way to vegetable-kingdom. I need to buy more seeds already.
Tonight is the second class of the meditation workshop. I’m looking forward to it. I’ve been practicing every day as per directions. There’s a place I call “There” that’s a really nice place to be. I can get there most times but not always. It’s important to dedicate the time allotted for meditation. I tried to squeeze in 8 minutes when I had to be somewhere and had laundry going and it didn’t work too well.
I have been trying meditation as ever since I quit drinking, even before that, I was introduced but it was nothing like this.
Yesterday i made some real progress in the gardening. I got the dirt, a dozen bags, and I found a store that sells more seeds. I put he dirt in the newly refurbished / lidded planters, and am ready to plant. There’s two more planters in the backyard too.
Wonder where I can get some cow seeds? I’d love it if I could grow some hamburgers!
it’s Monday morning, and I can’t tell you where the weekend went. It just went by too fast. Saturday was good and busy. Sunday I was supposed to dive but it didn’t work out. I did some yard work and the planters are ready for dirt now.
322 days on my streak.
i don’t have anything to post about. I’m actually glad to be going back to work.
Yesterday I took these pictures using macro mode on my phone camera. I think it works surprisingly well, I think these are borderline quality because the camera wasn’t close enough.
Last night I started a 4 week meditation workshop. It was interesting. Lots of talk about bran parts and nerves and scientifically how it works. Among other things, I discovered that I can’t sit cross legged as long as I need to. It should prove to be a very beneficial class, if I apply what I learn. Meditation has been, I think, a weak point in my recovery program.
The road that attaches to my street has been re-paves. It’s nice! I hope it lasts a long time The surface is a tar/oil mixture, where before it was asphalt. They don’t seem to be quiet done yet tho. Maybe this is an undercoat.
Yesterday after work I mowed the back yard. I am in control again! For now..
Happy first day of summer! At 3:13AM Cayman time this morning, the sun reached its south to north apogee at the Tropic of Cancer and is now headed back down to the Tropic of Capricorn. Although it’s the first day of summer, it also means the days will start getting shorter (in the northern hemisphere). To me this always seemed kinda weird. Shouldn’t the longest day be in the middle of summer? But further north, things are just starting to warm up, so in a way, it makes sense. Plus, there is no “marker” in the middle of the seasons.
its a Tuesday, I feel like I’m running on about 3 quarters power. But things are good. Coffee cures all!
It was a really good weekend. I got the front yard mowed in between downpours, I fixed a silly mistake I made on one of the anti chicken lids on the planters. I re-did the tripod that is helping the Otaheite apple tree stand up straight (I think it’s slowly falling over since it fell in Hurricane Grace and I stood it back up). I cleaned the floors in the whole house. I dissected a cherry tomato and planted the seeds. (We’ll see how many come up.) And I went to a “Sashing” for the Cayman Islands Miss Universe contestants. It was super fun!
Lisa is sponsored by One Heart, and she works there. I was invited to attend by the owner. I was so happy to be there!
Sunday morning I slept 90 minutes later than usual, which is huge for me. I barely stayed up past my normal bedtime. I got up at 6:30! Can you believe it!?
And now it’s a back to work Monday. Weather’s supposed to improve. I can mow the back yard this week!
Happy Friday! I’m still doing Duolingo every day. I notice that when I complete a lesson, sometimes the icon gets “cracked”, others don’t. In the image above, the modules are as done as they can be, except travel is done but Legendary levels remain. If you click them, (any except travel) the only option is practice. But why the cracks and why not the cracks? I’m going to find out!
We’re expecting a rainy weekend. It did rain yesterday, and it’s cloudy now. Probably more rain coming, but, I brought my sun-sensitive plants in, just to be safe.
This can be a housecleaning weekend if the weather cooperates. Or a yard work one if it doesn’t.