When I see an unexpected reflection of myself, I tend to be surprised at how mean I look, or angry, or unhappy. I never seem to look how I feel. I have a natural frowny face.
People with naturally smiley faces must live completely different lives. New people would tend to be less cautious and wary, instead of wondering “What’s going on with this guy?”
I think someone would be more likely to initiate communication with a happy or nice looking person than a mean, angry looking person.
I’ve noticed it many times, I walk down the street and see a reflection of myself in the store window and almost jump out of my skin. Glance up at the thumbnail of me on the virtual meeting, cringe, and try to erase the scowl. I feel fine, and I’m in a good mood, but it’s shocking to unexpectedly see how mean I look.
I took my car in for an oil change yesterday. For about a week, the weather report has been saying increased rain. So instead of riding my scooter while my car was in the shop I rented a car. It hasn’t rained a drop, if I was on my scooter, it would be pouring, don’t you think?
I have been told that negative thinking precipitates the negative things that happened to me. Yesterday a co-worker and I both had the weather apps open on our phones. His had a huge sunny icon and mine had a cloud with a thunderbolt coming out of it. Same time same place. Different apps. I don’t even think any of my weather apps have a big, cheery sun 🌞 icon.
I have often joked that I control the weather, whisper, I can put the plants out in the rain and by the time I get the last plant out, it will stop raining.
I have been working on improving my static thinking, but it isn’t easy to change your pattern.
Movie night was good last night. “When Harry Met Sally“. There was a friend of mine who had never seen it before with is. She said “I’ll have what she’s having” about 15 seconds before the line came up in the movie.
And another friend of mine just got out of quarantine yesterday afternoon, Then someone in her group tested positive and had to re enter quarantine about 6 hours after she got out. I don’t have the story straight in my head yet, but it seems to be insane craziness on someones part.
I’m on a vacation day today, and am going snorkeling.
Met with the wife yesterday. She wants a divorce. Although it’s not surprising it did cause me to restart the cycle of grief I suppose.
I didn’t sleep well last night, I saw the moon come up at the bottom of my window and rise up and up till it passed the window top while I was laying in bed. My sleep thing on my watch shows 59% efficiency, which is really low.
I’m tired of posting these sad posts.
Tonight is movie night at the Westin but I’m not sure if I’m going to go, the guy is fixing my ceiling from the air conditioner leak and I’m not sure what time he’ll be done, plus I might be tired.
Had a pretty nice weekend. Saturday went birdwatching with the wife. There is some kind of bird inventory going on. Also Saturday I made some slow cooker Barbecue that came out really good, I thought. Sunday, I went diving and posted the two videos above on TikTok. I like the music. TikTok is a pretty entertaining app. Find me if you have it, I’m MCD6D.
Tomorrow the wife starts moving out. I guess she will proceed with a divorce pretty quickly. I still don’t have a reason for her leaving except she “feels different”. I am not having an easy time coping.
Last Saturday, (not day-before-yesterday, a week before that) I went to one of my best friends’s funeral.
Last Sunday, my wife told me she doesn’t love me anymore and wants a divorce.
Last week I went to a counsellor with the wife and felt like they were both ganged up on me.
I kind of had a meltdown at work after that because I’ve been feeling ignored, not part of the team, and when everyone, everyone except me. left to go to a meeting. I figure my same insanity that makes me invisible at work is the same insanity that makes my wife want to leave.
Last Friday, I took my cat to the vet and found out she had lymphoma (cancer) and there was nothing that could be done to save her. She wasn’t in pain, so I brought her home to live her life. She almost immediately disappeared and I assume she’s gone forever.
Things probably can’t get worse, but it might. I have an “executive physical” tomorrow, A very intensive physical exam. I think I’m ok but you never know.
But overall, I gotta be near the valley floor, sstarting to climb high again. Have a good week!
I ran into a friend from 30 years ago on the internet. I took his number. I went to call him, and he wasn’t on my phone. “Ah!” said I, I wrote it on a notebook on my desk and didn’t put it on my phone, I’ll copy it when I get home.”
Well, I can’t find the paper… The pen’s still here, where’s the paper? It couldn’t have gone anywhere.
I have this quality in my life, anything I look for, I can’t find. A piece of paper, an email, a passage in a book.
I remember reading an article about people in India seeing the Himalayas for the first time in 30 years because of lockdown and reduced traffic/pollution. Now, sadly levels are back up and a lot of places are still locked down. Sad. I suppose it’ll get worse than it was before as covid ends.
I’ve been sorting pictures from Italy, Getting them off my phone and camera, changing the names by date.
In the olden days, we’d get our film developed, take out all the good pictures, show thrm around, maybe put them in a photo album. The not so good pictures would be left in the envelope and eventually end up in a trunk in the attic or basement, or the garbage.
Nowadays, the not so good pics get deleted, the ok pictures get saved on a disc somewhere, the favorites get posted online. It seems worse, like the pictures don’t physically exist. If humanity ever descends back to the dark ages, and I’m sure it will, the digital age of humans will be lost. For example, do you have data on 3.5 inch discs in your closet? I do. Do you have a device that can read a 3.5 inch disc? I don’t. VHS tapes? We’re losing data even in our lifetimes.
In many ways, the old way was better. Hard copies.