The Mystery Elephant Speech

My good friends, Caymanians, distinguished guests, Madame Speaker and members of the Legislative Assembly, immigration and police officials, visiting dignitaries, ladies and gentlemen of the press, my millions upon millions of daily readers, and of course, my Most Valued, Blog Commentators.

The Cayman Islands is not commonly known for its elephant population. I, however, am quite concerned with the sudden appearance of the above-pictured elephant in the vacant lot behind the Cost-U-Less store.

I was driving home from work about three weeks ago, and noticed aforementioned elephant in aforementioned picture in aforementioned vacant lot. My first thought as I legally drove by, not exceeding the speed limit, in my properly licensed and insured vehicle, was that it was a pig, a swine, if you will. I thought to myself, “Where did this pig come from? It wasn’t there yesterday.”

The next day, I drove by again and realised that it was intended to appear as an elephant, not a pig. The third day, I felt compelled to stop and take the above photo.

I raised the alarm on social media, and was shocked at the lack of response. Only one person said they noticed it, and nobody really seemed very concerned.

Where did this elephant come from? What is his or her mission? What is its immigration status? Does it have a valid work permit?

As I drove home, warily, and I admit somewhat fearfully, on subsequent days, glancing at the intruding elephant, I began to notice a strange phenomenon. Every day, the elephant seemed to be moving closer to the road! What is the method of locomotion? Do people come every night, and inch it closer to the road? Does it have its own propulsion system? Why is it moving towards the road in such a stealthily manner? What are its intentions? Could it be advancing for a planned attack on the roadway? Does it eat cars or people? Am I the only one concerned about the safety and well-being of our beloved Cayman Islands and Her people from all over the world?

Again I must inquire about the origins of the ghastly beast and its abrupt appearance from seemingly nowhere. Its skin looks not unlike black, plastic trash bag. If the elephant is man-made, where would one possibly find a trash bag so huge? This alone seems to indicate that the origins of this mysterious elephant cannot be of this planet. Was it beamed down to the surface of this planet in a Star Trek type manner? Is there a hostile spacecraft orbiting above us this very minute, with its lethal weapons trained upon us for an imminent attack? Or is there an alien spacecraft hidden in the bush nearby?

All these questions demand a thorough investigation! The Cayman Islands, nay, the entire Earth, could be in the throes of a planetary invasion!

So I implore you, dear readers, do not take this matter lightly. Spring into action, prepare to defend yourselves if necessary. Do not let us be dominated by alien, spaceship-flying, car-and-people-eating, sneaky, trash bag skinned, hostile, invading elephants that try to look like pigs!

Weather forecast

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Todays Forecast: 30% chance of big clouds and little clouds with lightning and a whole bunch of rain drops this morning. Around noon, big clouds only with a 50% chance of one rain drop falling. 40% chance we’ll get another drop in the afternoon. Tonight mostly clear with a zero percent chance that one star is nearer to the Earth than the moon is.

That’s yer weather forecast for this FRIDAY!! Yeay!

Have a great weekend!

Weather Irregular

I took the car yesterday, and then it got sunny and stayed sunny all day. Last night was clear and we looked for shooting stars. We got this meteor shower going on ya know.
This morning, got up at 5, looked outside, crystal clear. I figured I’d have a shower, some coffee, post my post and look for meteors some more while it got light.
Whilst I was in the shower, it started to rain. Pour. It was cloudless a minute ago. Whottheeheck.
How an I supposed to determine the most appropriate mode under these conditions?
The crap I gotta put up with, I tell ya.

You know what else bugs me? What is it? IT rained, IT got light. This irks me every time I hear it. Another thing that bothers me is the nameless “they” that so many people refer to. “Surely they’ll evacuate us, they won’t let us stay here!”

I’m off on a rant. Cabin fever from a little rain! Surely IT will stop! THEY won’t let me go crazy!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!
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One Day & A Wakeup! Plus A Long Ramble

Tomorrow we go to Mexico! I don’t even know why I’m even bothering going to work today!

It was  a 50/50 weekend.

We didn’t go to a wedding on Saturday, we’re going to a wedding in Mexico.

The wife worked Sunday, she came home with sandwiches, she accidently gave me the wrong sandwich, I ate it. She got super super mad at me for not noticing. I was watching American football, not paying attention along those lines, her sandwich was completely different than mine. I should have noticed. One time at Subway, I ordered a chicken sandwich. I ate it and it was excellent. After that, the worker came up and asked me if my sandwich had chicken on it. I said I don’t know, but it was excellent. They found a piece of chicken in the  microwave and figured it was supposed to go in my sandwich. I thought and thought, but couldn’t remember if there was chicken in my sandwich or not. But I remember it was good. the other day we went to a restaurant, I ordered a beef sandwich. I was terrible. Tasted like charcoal, literally. The manager came over when I was almost done, and asked how everything was, I said terrible, tastes like charcoal. She gave me a weird look, ’cause I was woofin’ it down. I said “Hey, you asked”. I have these two teeth that gets food stuck between them. When I got home and jammed a toohpick between those teeth and got out the hunk of meat from that sandwich I could taste it again. It was terrible tasting.  Charcoal. I don’t care about food. Eating and sleeping are wastes of time, and if I didn’t have to do them, I wouldn’t.

Football-wise his weekend was opposite of last weekend. Almost all my teams lost. And the Redskins got hammered like they hammered last week.

Did you ever see the movie “The Matrix”? Where the cat walks by twice and Neo says “Whoa, deja vu”? It’s hapening to me, our cat, Ashy, keeps walking by. She’s doing laps, in the laundry door, through the kitchen, out the dining room door to the back porch and under my table. Again and again, like the Matrix movie.

Let me out of here, I gotta go to work.

Have a good week, I might not post tomorrow, I’ll be going to the airport.

Imagine….

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…living on the far side of the moon your whole life, never knowing there was a huge planet out of sight on the other side of the globe beneath your feet.

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What if you were an astronomer living on the far side of the  moon, trying to explain why the sun behaved so strangely, not aware that it was the moon acting under the influence of Earths gravity?

On the moon, there is only one sunrise and sunset per month, and the stars are always visible, even in daytime. The sky is always black and full full full of stars, probably more stars than we’ve ever seen on Earth. You’d see all of the planets we see, except Earth.

Think what it would be like, living on the far side of the moon.

Poor Lil Blog

I was just looking at WordPress’s “Freshly Pressed”. There are some amazing posts. It makes me wish my blog was better. I don’t have topics. Maybe I shouldn’t post first thing in the morning. It’s been part of my morning routine for years, coffee and post. But my brain isn’t up to speed in the morning, I don’t think, (how would I know?)

I love my camera, and I carry it around everywhere but seldom use it. Blog posts need photos, I think. I wish I had a job that required me to take pictures. Maybe. I never really had that thought before till now, when I just typed it. I’m 55 and still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.

I was sleeping very deeply when  the alarm went off this morning. I feel very dazed. Just started cuppa coffee #2. Maybe I will try some afternoon postings for a while. Maybe I won’t. I don’t like to be indoors when it’s daytime. I can’t see my internet device in the sun. Maybe I need to make some changes. My life is routine, routine, routine. I think I like routine, maybe I don’t.

I don’t know, I’m rambling.

Have a good day. Leave a comment.

Feels Like Tuesday,

But it’s THURSDAY!

While I was on vacation, there was a fire in my building. An air conditioner. My office wasn’t damaged, but since there’s no power, I had to move to another office in a different building until it gets cleaned up. The whole building is covered in soot. Glad my door was closed.

Last night I made meatloaf for dinner. My wife said it was my best yet. 2 lbs of 97% lean hamburger, about half a cuppa Panko breadcrumb things, 2 eggs, a flat handful of dried onions and a generous squirt of hot sauce. And salt n pepper. Knead it all into a ball, plop it in yer oven pan, make a pretty design on top with ketchup, and bake for an hour at 375.

I got pretty angry this morning, thinking about work, but I think I’ve calmed down now.

“Bring the weekend”, he said, after only one day back at work from vacation.