I zee old country, Groundhogs Day is celebrated by taking zee pictures of zee squid in water that is 81 degrees F.
I calculated that I needed 6 bags of dirt. (potting soil), three for these two giant pots, and one for something and one for something and another for something else.
I filled the two giant pots and now have three bags of dirt I can’t remember what for.
When I went to the store and asked for six bags or dirt, I got a blank stare. It was funny. Then I said “potting soil” and the lady said “Ohhhhh” and we both started laughing.
Oh Monday, go easy on me this week! Have a good week!
I’m glad it’s Friday, it’s been a long, hard week.
I developed a bad habit on vacation. My alarm clock is programmed on my phone, Monday through Friday. When it went off while I was on vacation, I’d just turn it off and go back to sleep. This morning I just turned it off and went back to sleep. Thanks to my dawg Ditto for waking me up.
Friday. Thank God. Have a good weekend!
Woke up this morning in a bad mood.
Been avoiding posting for a half hour.
Long range weather report says rain my whole vacation.
Sheba peed on the back porch and it stinks, even though I hosed it off.
The Wife didn’t put the coffee filters away.
There’s a fly buzzing around, driving me crazy.
I can’t think of anything else wrong.
It occurred to me this morning that it is getting harder and harder to wake up. Yesterday I skipped my exercises and slept an extra 45 minutes. Last night, went to sleep around 9:30, slept good, but still had to wrench myself out of bed with a crowbar. No problems once I’m up, it’s just the act of getting up that seems harder.
Why? Tell me why!
Have a gooood day!
……there was a very drunk regular sitting on his usual stool in a very crowded bar. He was very drunk, leaning on the bar with his head down.
The place was packed, and this woman came up behind him to try to get a drink, waving at the bartender and calling. She had very hairy armpits. She accidently bumped into the drunk and he turned around on his stool, and caught an eyeful of her hairy armpit, turned back around and called to the bartender, “HEY BARTENDER! BRING THE BALLERINA A DRINK!”
The bartender came down, took the woman’s drink order, gave her her drink and she took off, into the crowd.
A little while later, the same woman comes up to the same spot at the bar to get another drink. Waving to get the bartenders attention, she accidently bumps the drunk again, he turns around and gets another shot in the eye of her hairy armpit, turns to the bartender and calls “HEY BARTENDER! BRING THE BALLERINA ANOTHER DRINK!” The bartender gives her her drink and off she goes into the crowd.
The bartender says to the drunk, “You come in here all the time, I’ve never seen that woman before, and I’m pretty sure you’ve never seen her before either. What makes you think she’s a ballerina?
The drunk replied, “Anybody who can lift their leg that high HAS to be a ballerina!”
Ha ha. Get it? Have a good day.
Article from HERE
APIA, Samoa — Sirens wailed and fireworks exploded in the skies over Samoa as the tiny South Pacific nation jumped forward in time, crossing westward over the international date line and effectively erasing Friday, Dec. 30, 2011, from the country’s calendar.The time jump means that
Samoans who had gathered around the main clock tower in the capital Apia cheered and clapped as the clock struck midnight on Thursday, Dec. 29, instantly transporting the country 24 hours ahead to Saturday, Dec. 31. The switch, also being observed by neighboring Tokelau, is meant to align the islands’ time with key trading partners in the Asia-Pacific region.
I, personally, doubt the Samoans were “cheering and clapping”, They were probably rioting like I imagine all the Plutonians did when their world, Pluto, was flippantly voted no longer a planet in 2006!
MY Navy buddy will never get that birthday back. He is probably ridiculed because suddenly, he is one year younger than all his friends now, probably still suffers the emotional anguish of actually having his birthday taken away by the US Navy. I think we need to get on boats, and go down there an help the people of Samoa recover from this disaster. No one will be born in Samoa on Dec 30, 2011, not one single soul.
Or look at the bright side, no one will die in Samoa on Dec 30, 2011 either. AND Samoa’s 186,000 citizens, and the 1,500 in the three-atoll United Nations dependency of Tokelau, will now be the first in the world to ring in the new year, rather than the last..
In other news, the Wife is tired of me beating her up every day, and therefore tomorrow she says she is getting up at 5:20 AM, so she will be beating me up. My alarm goes off at 5:55 AM.
As most of you know, we have, allegedly, two dogs. However, I am beginning to think we have more than two. Yesterday, I was in the living room, and there was a big yellow dog laying in the middle of the floor. Of course she was laying in the most obtrusive, inconvenient spot. After carefully and with great difficulty, climbing over aforementioned large dog. I walked into the bedroom, where I found an identical dog, laying in the middle of the bedroom floor, also in the most obtrusive, inconvenient spot. Take my word for it that
I wasn’t paying attention when she moved it couldn’t have been the same dog. Similar anomalies have occurred with the black dog. Scientific investigation to follow.
That’s it for your Tuesday Stupid News.