I was dreaming that everyone was making fun of me.
“Yeah, you’re fucked up” “You’re the cause of everyones problems”
3AM is good for studying. I used to love it when I got up at 3, turned on my little lamp, and studied. Maybe I should take some more online courses. I kind of have been studying a little, I’ve been studying this audio editing program called Audacity. It’s free and has a lot of good features, in fact, it seems to do everything anyone could need an audio editing program for.One thing that I find shocking is the sound of my own voice. I sound mean. Learning this program means I have been recording my own voice, and hearing my own voice a lot. Peoples voices sound differently when they are played back on a recording than they are coming from inside your own head.
My wife says I sound like a Sergeant. A few people used to call me Sarge where I used to work. I am surprised by how mean and impatient I sound, even when I don’t feel mean or impatient. Another thing that always used to surprise me, is when I would walk past a building with a window, and I’d see a reflection of myself, I’d be very surprised how angry I look. I’d almost jump out of my own skin when I’d unexpectedly see my reflection.
I think I appear totally different on the outside than I feel on the inside.
Last night we were having trouble with the internet. I called the help desk, proceeded in dialing my way through their automated phone system, got put on hold, then disconnected after being on hold for 5 minutes. This seems to happen every time I call. Now I have to call back, I’m pissed. I don’t even want to deal with those people. So my wife calls, 30 seconds later she’s talking sweetly to the tech on the phone, and they promise to have it fixed in 12 hours. We were discussing it afterwards, and she was telling me I can’t be pissed off on the phone. I wasn’t pissed before they disconnected me. It’s hard for me to not get irritated. I’ve mentioned it many times on this blog. But part of the problem is that I sound angry when I’m not, then the second party gets aggravated, and I think, “What’s your problem? I haven’t done anything to upset you!”
Anyway, this is it for this post. It’s 6 AM now, blogger went down in the middle of me trying to post my post and I just found it was back up. Maybe I should call them and give them a piece of my mind?